Widow for a Season: Finding Your Identity in Christ

Chapter Four: A Twist on Trust

Summary: 

   Many times our words of comfort for those we see suffering in trial are just to trust in the Lord.  But what does that mean in practical application for the widow.  There are so many difficult decisions and situations to deal with as a widow and often God seems to be invisible.  We wonder if He really cares that we don’t have enough money for this weeks groceries or that our toilet is plugged.  This chapter is about how to put feet and practical application to the simple concept of trusting in the Lord.  Many candid experiences as well as humorous stories are shared here.

Excerpt:

Chapter Four - A Twist on Trust

A Tested Trust

The one thing that has made all difference in my struggle with the unexpected loss of my husband is something a godly man shared with me early in my husband’s illness. His advice was simple—“Just trust in God.” That is the only advice he would ever give me! It was like listening to a broken record every time he counseled me.  I wanted to scream, “But that just isn’t doing the job! It isn’t enough!” I am thankful now that he just kept directing me back to the Lord by living his faith out before me.  He had to know my faith was weak, but trusting God would be the only source of lasting power.

     I had never experienced anything that so tested my ability to trust God, as did the untimely death of my husband. I would pray and confess that I trusted Him, but there was no comfort or peace in my heart. Fear convinced me that I had lost my way. I was desperate for control, but I was trying to control all the wrong things. There were days when I couldn’t convince myself that my husband wasn’t just gone temporarily—like on a business trip or on Guard duty. He would be home soon. On other days I felt as if he were someone I had only imagined, and he never really existed. I’m sure I went through many stages of grief. I prayed and cried a lot. Nothing seemed familiar in my upside-down world. I didn’t know who I was anymore, and I didn’t know what I was supposed to be doing with myself everyday. I woke up every morning, but when I looked in the mirror I didn’t see anyone looking back. It was like I had vanished, but where did I go?

     In an effort to encourage me people would say,  “Just trust in the Lord.” I thought of these words as cliché—it was what Christians said to one another in hard times.  I had quipped similar words to others myself, but felt insulted by them now.  Tagging the admonition to “trust in the Lord” as cliché, however, waters down the importance of its message.  Over and over in Scripture God’s admonition to those facing impossible challenges was always “Trust in me.”  His own example suggests that these are the most powerful words we can utter.  What makes us angry about these words is the challenge they place on our faith.  They expose a weak relationship with Christ when we are unable to find strength in them.  But when the funeral is over and the dust has settled, we are eventually alone with God, and the truth about our relationship with Him is unavoidable.  Although I had been seeking to walk by faith my entire Christian life, the death of my husband drove me to develop my trust at a deeper level.  That deeper trust would begin with a new promise.

     Isaiah 54:5-6 says: