Widow for a Season: Finding Your Identity in Christ

Chapter Five: Fight or Fright

Summary: 

   With the headship of their earthly husband removed a widow can become spiritually vulnerable.  Many widows do not have a clear understanding of the spiritual battle before them let alone the weapons available to them for protection and victory.  This chapter will focus on understanding the dynamics of anxiety, anger, and depression, how to conquer fear, worry, and discouragement, understanding God’s authority in the spiritual battle, and understanding the role of our will vs. our emotions.  We will look at Ephesians 6:10-18 concerning the spiritual armor available to us from our position and identity in Christ.

Excerpt: 

Chapter Five - Fight or Fright 

     As widows experiencing one of the most difficult trials of our lives, we need to tap into the power and peace the Lord intends for us. Otherwise, we will become like a fearful, injured animal striving to survive in the wild. Our enemy, Satan, will try to use our circumstances to discourage us and destroy our faith, but the Lord does not intend for us to be defeated.

     When my daughter was very young, she would try to walk across our neighbor’s field to visit her little friend. About halfway there, a large dog would jump out from his yard and bark at her so forcefully that she would run home in tears. She was convinced the dog was going to eat her alive! I finally told her, “When that big old dog starts to bark at you, in a really brave voice say, ‘No, Stormy, you go home!’ When he sees you are not afraid of him, he will leave you alone.”

 Convinced this tactic would work, she boldly started out. True to form, that big old dog came lunging out at her, but when Hilary commanded him with her biggest, bravest voice, the dog went running home as if chased with a stick! She was surprised and delighted! Never again was she afraid to cross that field. What made the difference? The dog hadn’t changed and Hilary was still the same little girl. But she had been empowered by a new understanding of the rules of engagement. No one had told her it could be that easy.

     When the reality of my husband’s death had settled in, I was bound in my own set of what seemed to be insurmountable circumstances that I did not know how to manage. As I struggled desperately to move forward with my life, I tried to make everything happen like it should. Going on as if everything was under control and trying to be all things to all people, however, just wasn’t working. I was trying so hard to be a brave testimony for the Lord but not by His power as much as from my own strength. One day someone from my church looked at me after a long afternoon of trying to keep our five-acre place running and in repair. He said, “You don’t have to take a warrior’s position in the front lines, Kristine. You are a woman and that is all God expects you to be. Let Him go ahead and you just follow.” It was some of the best advice anyone has ever given me, and I have never forgotten it. I was trying to patch and fix everything that seemed wrong. I was trying to be the strength of my husband for everyone who needed him. I was trying to lead instead of leaning on the Lord. I didn’t understand how He could help me with all of this. My God was too small and there was a lot I didn’t know about the enemy’s tactics and efforts to bring my faith to defeat. I had options I wasn’t aware of — a hidden cupboard full that had never needed to be opened. As I tearfully prayed, the Lord began to show me things that have taken me to a place of victory. I have learned that it is not His plan for me to be in control. It is God’s task to be in control. It is our job to follow His plan.